Puzzles

Having two kids.  Wow.  Not what I expected.

My husband came up with the perfect analogy. He said it's like jigsaw puzzles.  Hang in there with me for a minute as I explain.

You can have a jigsaw puzzle with 4 pieces. My son Seth just graduated to 6- and 8-piece puzzles. Then there are 8000 piece puzzles...maybe more. If you've done a 4-piece jigsaw puzzle, you might have a point of reference for doing an 8-piece puzzle..but still, the picture is different. And once you get to bigger puzzles, you probably have a strategy for doing them: straight-edge pieces on the outside first, etc. But again, there are different pictures and sizes and shapes. So you might have a 400 piece puzzle of say, the Statue of Liberty, and you master that. But then you move on to a 1000 piece puzzle of a mountain scene. You are really starting all over; the basics are there, but it's a new picture and therefore a new strategy.

I think raising different kids is like that. We have our general parenting strategies, and things we will try and do the same each time. But, at least with my kids, the pictures are way different.

Seth is almost 4, and is the most easy-going kid I've ever known. As a baby, he went anywhere, slept anywhere, ate anything, loved everyone, hardly ever cried, etc. He would get new teeth overnight and we'd never know. He didn't sit up on his own till he was 10 months...crawled at 12 months...first steps at 15 months. Even then, he pretty much loved to be in his playpen and sitting, doing one thing.  He loved just watching the world go by. He was so relaxed that at his 15 month well-baby check, we found out he had a double ear infection. He didn't complain or pull on his ears. He slept like a dream. He couldn't work many baby toys, but didn't care. He didn't feed himself till he was about 2. He loves to be picked up and carried- still.

Baby Eli, now 9 months, could not be more different.  From the time he was 3 months old, I could tell he was "done" with the baby thing. He had no interest in just sitting, watching the world go by. He hated the swing, stroller, car seat...anything that confined him.  Some of this was due to his tummy issues- it hurt him to be doubled over like that. But he always wanted to be UP. He would play some, but he wanted my full attention. He hates his playpen. He got his first tooth at 3 1/2 months and hasn't stopped complaining about it (he's gotten 6 more since). And now, at 9 months (at which age Seth couldn't even sit up), he has mastered sitting up, crawling, pulling up, walking holding just one adult hand, and taking independent steps. He can also feed himself finger foods very well. He recently scared the daylights out of me by opening a closed box with some parts to his baby monitor in it, putting something in his mouth, and swallowing it- I thought it was a screw. It wasn't, but still. He hates his naps- he'd rather be awake working on his skills.

This will sound ridiculous to you experienced parents out there, but I really thought this would be easier. I had one kid, right? I had him figured out. So adding another...yah, I might have some sleepless nights in the beginning, but then it would be just like Seth. No sweat. No- Eli has been like starting over. Like a completely different jigsaw puzzle.

And I am cautious to not compare them too much. I don't want to say that one of their personalities is "better" or "easier."  I think that in all of us, our strongest traits come out as both good and bad.  Sure, Seth is easy-going, but he is also kinda lazy. He would still let me spoon-feed him if I'd do it. But he can also sit still and be quiet during a wedding, funeral, etc. Eli is driven: he figures things out for himself and is independent (He is a lot like me- sorry, sweet boy. Didn't mean to pass on my strong-willed nature). This is good because he is learning so much and has amazing dexterity and mobility. But he also gets his mind made up about what he wants and you can't argue with him. He is throwing 3-year old scale fits already.

I do joke that they will grow up together. Seth will figure out how to buckle his seat belt about the same time Eli does. They will learn to tie their shoes together. Seth doesn't care to do it- Eli just can't wait to do it. That's true of about everything.

So once again, I thought this would be easier. But I am learning. So I will use all the knowledge that I gained with Seth and try to apply it- to a very different puzzle. And I am glad they aren't exactly alike. What fun would that be? Easier, yes. But no fun.